When buttload is a bad thing.

Big Buttload

So, I attended the DFW Writers Conference this weekend, and had a wonderful, enlightening, and exciting time. Until… *cue horror music* the Query Gong Show.

It was my fault. Totally mine. I’d sent a query a couple of months before, one that I’d taken through the amazing queryshark, and got to a yes. So, I sent it. And promptly forgot about it.

Until I got there, remembered, and went into a horror show of the heebiejeebies. I tried to pull it or exchange it for my real query. I swear I did.

But it was too late. It was much too late.

Oh, the horror

During the show, I slunk down in my chair–behind a row of agents, mind you–praying, “Please no.. Please no..”


Now, I should tell you that the man who reads the queries sounds like the voice of God. So when I heard my opening sentence intoned in his otherworldly voice..I wanted to leap up and scream to the heavens, “Nooooooooooooo!”

It was bad, ya’ll. It was so bad. Of course, I laughed right along with everyone else in the audience. “Man, what an idiot. I’d hate to be that writer. Ha Ha Ha”

After licking my wounds and chugging a glass or two of wine, I decided the best defense is a good offense. I confessed. The agent who gonged me first is someone I really admire. I went up to her at the conference party and said, “Hi, I’m buttload girl, but I’ve been in therapy, and I’m much better now.”

There’s nothing like public humiliation to make you take a good, long look at yourself. I learned that I can laugh at my mistakes. I can learn from them. And if I can help even one other person keep from making the same ones, my big ole buttload of shame was worth it.

Do any of you out there have similar stories of shame?  Hang in there and share it with me. You are not alone..

About Janet

I'm one of those girls who love books so much, I couldn't stand it till I wrote one of my own. I'm dreaming of the day when someone a LOT smarter than me will invent a real time machine. I have a wonderful hubby and two amazing boys, who--over the years--have ruined me forever for sappy chick-flicks. Now, I'm all about the fantasy-action. Thor...mmm... And GoT double mmm! I'm also an author with Houghton Mifflin Harcourt...INTO THE DIM & SPARKS OF LIGHT (coming 8/1/2017). I am repped by the phenomenal Mollie Glick of Creative Artists Agency (CAA).
Posted in aspiring author, DFW writing conference, fiction writing, novel writing, publishing, query, Writing, writing conference Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

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